Gratitude
My fellow blogger (and one of two people who inspired me to write my blog in the first place) nominated me yesterday for a gratitude award. Basically how it works is that I have to list five things that I am grateful for and then pass on the award to five more people who then write what they are grateful for (Is that right Susan? Have I got it?).
Well of course the first things that come to mind that I am eternally grateful for are my kids, my hubby, my parents and family, my home and the fact that my husband is employed but then I thought - nah! Too obvious. Isn't that what every single person in the world (who are lucky enough to have those things) is grateful for? So I've decided to take that previous list that I've mentioned as a given and think of five more slightly unusual things in my life that I get down on my knees and thank the fluffy clouds in the sky for every day.
No. 1
I am so grateful that I didn't get married to some gobsh*te in my late teens/early twenties and believe me, there were many gobsh*te's to choose from. At around the age of eighteen I had decided that I had done it all, seen everything and was ready to settle down and start a family and all I was waiting for was for my beau at the time to pop the question (can you believe the immaturity of it all?).
Thankfully, the first gobsh*te that I had earmarked as spouse material had about as much interest and respect for me as you might have for the next door neighbours dog who comes in and poops in your garden every morning and (I swear to God) almost winks at you while he does it.
He treated me terribly; stood me up on valentines day; two timed me with a fifteen year old girl; lied to me about it and then to my shame he dumped me! I wouldn't mind only he was completely bald (not shaved - he had lost his hair young and he had a really, really huge head so it DID NOT suit him AT ALL!) and while I know it's cruel to call someone pig-ugly, in this case that phrase is the only description that I can find that truly describes what he was like. Can you imagine what our children would have looked like?
*Shudder*
Gobsh*te number two was even worse. He was spoiled, moody and used to have huge rows with me over me doing things like talking to my friends or going out with them. We went on holidays once to Florida and when we got there we found that his credit card wasn't working. He used mine for the entire holiday and treated himself to things like new clothes, a camera, a suitcase to pack it all in and ran up a bill that stretched to thousands of pounds and I never, ever saw a penny of it.
He also suffered from incontinence in his moral department and during our two year relationship, I don't think that there was every a time when I wasn't 'sharing' him with another woman. I only found out about this at the end of our relationship and it was the best news that I have ever received in my life. It turned my face firmly towards the light and I have never stopped looking at that brightness since.
So here it is, gratitude number one - thank you so, so much Gobsh*te one and two for treating me so badly and for not asking me to marry you. I am so grateful that it was you two that I met when I was young and immature and willing to marry just about anyone who would have me. Luckily, I married when I was older and wiser and had the sense to choose a man who I believe is practically perfect in every way (a male version of Mary Poppins if you will!).
This brings me on to the second thing that I am grateful for:
No. 2
The fact that my husband HATES all sports. It's bad enough that we have to forgo the likes of Corrie for some pointless soccer match but imagine having to sit there and actually watch it too? I have nothing but love and sympathy for all of those poor sports widows who are married to football loving, rugby worshipping louts who spend their time reclined on the sofa with a six pack in one hand and a tube of pringles in the other. The couch has beer and onion dip stains on it; the arm rests have fingernail holes in it them and the coffee table has been reduced to firewood from the repeated kicking.
These poor women can barely get their husbands to notice them never mind talk to them unless it's to scream something like "What? Are you blind? He was clearly inside the line?" and when they finally come to bed at night, they are either jumping around like idiots demanding their nocturnal pleasures to help them celebrate Man. Utd. winning 2-nil or they are behaving like spoilt brats and grumbling about how "It was a penalty - clear as day!".
Their art of seduction now involves football jerseys and referee whistles and for the very few unlucky woman, a blow by blow description of the off side rule.
Thank you God for sending me a man who just couldn't care less!
No. 3
The telly. Oh God, how I love my telly! Thank you so much John Logie Baird for taking the time and effort to create such a tool of joy for millions. Words cannot express my gratitude.
Cornation Street, Lost, Masterchef, the Apprentice.... the list goes on and on (although not daytime telly. I draw the line at Jeremy Kyle and the likes).
I cannot understand people who win the lottery who say that they will continue to work even though they don't need the money as if they quit their jobs, they would have nothing to do.
WATCH THE TELLY FOR GOD'S SAKES! There is something great for you to do.
Possibly my love for the little box in the corner is taken to extremes at times as only last night I suddenly realised that a play that I am currently in is going to be on stage on the same night that the very last episode of Lost is airing and I genuinely became distressed and wondered if there was anyway to change the dates of our performance? Unfortunately everybody laughed and no-one took me seriously.
No. 4
Facebook. There are few people out there who will admit to just loving Facebook but I am going to fly in the face of adversity and come right out and say that I am addicted. I love to chat to people every day like my family and cousins and good friends whom I would never normally see or be in contact with and as a stay at home mother whose contact with other big human beings is limited, it really does relieve the feeling of isolation that sometimes comes with this job.
Okay, okay - I'm nosey as well but who doesn't like a wee bit of a nose here and there in other peoples business. In my opinion, if you want to keep certain aspects of your life private, then don't post them on Facebook. It's that simple.
Here is one part of my addiction to Facebook that worries me though and I have to ask; is looking at your sister's, friends, brother's, girlfriend's pictures a step too far? Especially if you have never even met them?
It's not all sweetness and light hearted poking around with Facebook though if I am being completely honest. Here is one thing that really gets on my nerves. Why oh why do people add you as a friend when they have absolutely no interest in talking to you at all? It drives me mad!
I got a friend request from someone recently that I knew about ten years ago and I was delighted to hear from him.
"Well, hello there!!" I emailed. "How great to hear from you? What are you up to these days? Are you still in London?"
No response.
I tried him again on live chat a few days later when I saw that he was on-line. "Hi stranger. How are you?"
I got a reply about ten minutes later. Just one word, "Fine".
I tried again. "So, what are you up to?"
About ten minutes later I received "Not much", and that was all.
I don't get it. Why add someone as a friend that you have no interest in speaking to?
And he's not the only one. Every so often, I have a little friends clean out and get rid of all those who are just 'collecting' people and just keep the few people that I like to hear from or like to get in touch with myself. I cannot understand these people with five hundred plus friends. No-one has that many friends! For those of you who are under any false illusions, here is some information for you; having that amount of friends on Facebook does not actually make you popular - people were probably just like me and too polite to ignore your friend request.
no. 5
A few years ago, I would not have had the courage to write a blog. I would have been too worried about exposing myself or leaving myself open to criticism or disdain.
I'm nosey.
I'm opinionated.
I'm obsessed with my children and never stop talking or thinking about them.
I talk too much.
I think too much.
I'm tactless.
I'm irritating.
I always believe that I am right even when I am wrong.
I'm all those things and more and over the years I spent a lot of time trying to change all of that and become someone else (someone richer, less talkative, less opinionated and more popular preferably).
But somewhere along the way (and I don't exactly know when this happened) I kinda just learnt to accept who I am with all my flaws and I have found that there is a type of freedom that comes with saying to yourself, I know that I can be annoying and I know that I am not everybody's favourite person but that is okay. This is who I am and it's okay if not everyone likes me as long as the ones that matter do.
And I genuinely think that I am grateful for that most of all.
Well of course the first things that come to mind that I am eternally grateful for are my kids, my hubby, my parents and family, my home and the fact that my husband is employed but then I thought - nah! Too obvious. Isn't that what every single person in the world (who are lucky enough to have those things) is grateful for? So I've decided to take that previous list that I've mentioned as a given and think of five more slightly unusual things in my life that I get down on my knees and thank the fluffy clouds in the sky for every day.
No. 1
I am so grateful that I didn't get married to some gobsh*te in my late teens/early twenties and believe me, there were many gobsh*te's to choose from. At around the age of eighteen I had decided that I had done it all, seen everything and was ready to settle down and start a family and all I was waiting for was for my beau at the time to pop the question (can you believe the immaturity of it all?).
Thankfully, the first gobsh*te that I had earmarked as spouse material had about as much interest and respect for me as you might have for the next door neighbours dog who comes in and poops in your garden every morning and (I swear to God) almost winks at you while he does it.
He treated me terribly; stood me up on valentines day; two timed me with a fifteen year old girl; lied to me about it and then to my shame he dumped me! I wouldn't mind only he was completely bald (not shaved - he had lost his hair young and he had a really, really huge head so it DID NOT suit him AT ALL!) and while I know it's cruel to call someone pig-ugly, in this case that phrase is the only description that I can find that truly describes what he was like. Can you imagine what our children would have looked like?
*Shudder*
Gobsh*te number two was even worse. He was spoiled, moody and used to have huge rows with me over me doing things like talking to my friends or going out with them. We went on holidays once to Florida and when we got there we found that his credit card wasn't working. He used mine for the entire holiday and treated himself to things like new clothes, a camera, a suitcase to pack it all in and ran up a bill that stretched to thousands of pounds and I never, ever saw a penny of it.
He also suffered from incontinence in his moral department and during our two year relationship, I don't think that there was every a time when I wasn't 'sharing' him with another woman. I only found out about this at the end of our relationship and it was the best news that I have ever received in my life. It turned my face firmly towards the light and I have never stopped looking at that brightness since.
So here it is, gratitude number one - thank you so, so much Gobsh*te one and two for treating me so badly and for not asking me to marry you. I am so grateful that it was you two that I met when I was young and immature and willing to marry just about anyone who would have me. Luckily, I married when I was older and wiser and had the sense to choose a man who I believe is practically perfect in every way (a male version of Mary Poppins if you will!).
This brings me on to the second thing that I am grateful for:
No. 2
The fact that my husband HATES all sports. It's bad enough that we have to forgo the likes of Corrie for some pointless soccer match but imagine having to sit there and actually watch it too? I have nothing but love and sympathy for all of those poor sports widows who are married to football loving, rugby worshipping louts who spend their time reclined on the sofa with a six pack in one hand and a tube of pringles in the other. The couch has beer and onion dip stains on it; the arm rests have fingernail holes in it them and the coffee table has been reduced to firewood from the repeated kicking.
These poor women can barely get their husbands to notice them never mind talk to them unless it's to scream something like "What? Are you blind? He was clearly inside the line?" and when they finally come to bed at night, they are either jumping around like idiots demanding their nocturnal pleasures to help them celebrate Man. Utd. winning 2-nil or they are behaving like spoilt brats and grumbling about how "It was a penalty - clear as day!".
Their art of seduction now involves football jerseys and referee whistles and for the very few unlucky woman, a blow by blow description of the off side rule.
Thank you God for sending me a man who just couldn't care less!
No. 3
The telly. Oh God, how I love my telly! Thank you so much John Logie Baird for taking the time and effort to create such a tool of joy for millions. Words cannot express my gratitude.
Cornation Street, Lost, Masterchef, the Apprentice.... the list goes on and on (although not daytime telly. I draw the line at Jeremy Kyle and the likes).
I cannot understand people who win the lottery who say that they will continue to work even though they don't need the money as if they quit their jobs, they would have nothing to do.
WATCH THE TELLY FOR GOD'S SAKES! There is something great for you to do.
Possibly my love for the little box in the corner is taken to extremes at times as only last night I suddenly realised that a play that I am currently in is going to be on stage on the same night that the very last episode of Lost is airing and I genuinely became distressed and wondered if there was anyway to change the dates of our performance? Unfortunately everybody laughed and no-one took me seriously.
No. 4
Facebook. There are few people out there who will admit to just loving Facebook but I am going to fly in the face of adversity and come right out and say that I am addicted. I love to chat to people every day like my family and cousins and good friends whom I would never normally see or be in contact with and as a stay at home mother whose contact with other big human beings is limited, it really does relieve the feeling of isolation that sometimes comes with this job.
Okay, okay - I'm nosey as well but who doesn't like a wee bit of a nose here and there in other peoples business. In my opinion, if you want to keep certain aspects of your life private, then don't post them on Facebook. It's that simple.
Here is one part of my addiction to Facebook that worries me though and I have to ask; is looking at your sister's, friends, brother's, girlfriend's pictures a step too far? Especially if you have never even met them?
It's not all sweetness and light hearted poking around with Facebook though if I am being completely honest. Here is one thing that really gets on my nerves. Why oh why do people add you as a friend when they have absolutely no interest in talking to you at all? It drives me mad!
I got a friend request from someone recently that I knew about ten years ago and I was delighted to hear from him.
"Well, hello there!!" I emailed. "How great to hear from you? What are you up to these days? Are you still in London?"
No response.
I tried him again on live chat a few days later when I saw that he was on-line. "Hi stranger. How are you?"
I got a reply about ten minutes later. Just one word, "Fine".
I tried again. "So, what are you up to?"
About ten minutes later I received "Not much", and that was all.
I don't get it. Why add someone as a friend that you have no interest in speaking to?
And he's not the only one. Every so often, I have a little friends clean out and get rid of all those who are just 'collecting' people and just keep the few people that I like to hear from or like to get in touch with myself. I cannot understand these people with five hundred plus friends. No-one has that many friends! For those of you who are under any false illusions, here is some information for you; having that amount of friends on Facebook does not actually make you popular - people were probably just like me and too polite to ignore your friend request.
no. 5
A few years ago, I would not have had the courage to write a blog. I would have been too worried about exposing myself or leaving myself open to criticism or disdain.
I'm nosey.
I'm opinionated.
I'm obsessed with my children and never stop talking or thinking about them.
I talk too much.
I think too much.
I'm tactless.
I'm irritating.
I always believe that I am right even when I am wrong.
I'm all those things and more and over the years I spent a lot of time trying to change all of that and become someone else (someone richer, less talkative, less opinionated and more popular preferably).
But somewhere along the way (and I don't exactly know when this happened) I kinda just learnt to accept who I am with all my flaws and I have found that there is a type of freedom that comes with saying to yourself, I know that I can be annoying and I know that I am not everybody's favourite person but that is okay. This is who I am and it's okay if not everyone likes me as long as the ones that matter do.
And I genuinely think that I am grateful for that most of all.
Bravo! Hilarious and so well written as always. Good luck with the award. I wouldn't even try and compete with that! Btw, speaking of friends on Facebook, I keep getting asked to choose friends for your husband, which I always ignore. Way to go to make somebody feel like billy no mates if Facebook is looking for friends for you! I guess it's some sort of scam to get more followers but maybe people list 500 friends to protect themselves!
ReplyDeleteGod, don't suggest anyone for hi,m. he thinks that Facebook is the work of the devil and is only on it cos I wanted to list him as my hubby. By the way, I forgot to nominate five others to write what they are grateful for. I have them now listed on Facebook but I'm putting it here as well. I've out six as I have trouble counting.
ReplyDeleteAlison Mulderrig
Caroline Doherty
Kate Corrigan
Gillian Davis
Sorcha Flynn
Orla Delaney
Oooh i know what you mean about facebook friends. It's so rude not to even reply when someone asks how you are. I am def going to have a 'friend' clearout and get rid of some of them. If they can't be bothered to talk to me why should I let them have access to all my photos and stuff!!!! ps. my hubby is a sport lover - any sport thats going. But I am lucky in that he doesnt force me to watch it and flicks back to it when the ads are on the other channel! But now that we have sky plus he wont have to do that anymore - HURRAH!!
ReplyDeleteHey don't be knocking rugby loving men. Some of us are quite reasonable and sometimes decent people who can also write a book or a play and fail miserably at directing. What we do is go and buy a second telly. Btw I'm with your husband on the facebook front. But if I had an account I'd be deleting you now.
ReplyDeleteYour former rugby addicted friend.
(formerly your friend) (not formerly rugby addicted because I still am.)
also in revenge for your pepetuating of stereotypes I'm going to ring you straight after the last episode of Lost and tell you what happened. So there!
What? No, no john you got it all wrong (backpedal, backpedal!). I mean obviously not everyone who watches rugby is a lout and kudos to you for getting a second tely and (oh God!) YOU are obviously really considerate and a great hubby and all that and PLEASE, oh please don't tell me what happens in Lost before I've seen it.(* note to self - turn off phone. Stay away from Facebook and emails. Make eye contact with no-one after the play but make my way home quickly and watch it in a darkened room uninterrupted. Whew - and breath!)
ReplyDeleteYour only hope of forgiveness is a new Mary and dave anecdote!!
ReplyDeleteoooooooo Tempting!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I don't understand your concept of Facebook though. All my 501 friends are genuine, lovely people.
ReplyDeleteHEY....wait a minute....260??.....what happened to the 241 that I added last night....the ones that I met through Farmville? I gave you GIFTS you feckers!!!
Lol Susan.
ReplyDelete