Flowery's girl

I'm going out tomorrow night and unless shabby tracksuit bottoms and food stained t-shirts are back in vogue, I decided that it was time to treat myself to something new to wear. Now it's only a table quiz but still, an excuse for a new outfit is an excuse for a new outfit so I packed the kids into the car and headed in to our new shopping outlet in town for a quick browse through the local clothes stores. I just LOVE this new shopping outlet in town. It has Eddie Rockets (which I am not promoting as a plate of chips should not cost more than your yearly tax bill but Oh my GOD! Their chocolate malt shakes are just divine and only about 1,500 thousand calories a piece, so if like me, you have completely given up on ever fully getting your figure back, then indulge yourself. I insist!), Villa, Only, Jack Jones, Pamela Scotts and... wait for it.... (drum roll please)... Marks and Spencers! Yes people, we here in this part of the world, have hit the big time. We too can now buy dec...

My gorgeous little niece is turning one at the end of this week and as she lives in the states and is a little bit too young to appreciate a tenner in an envelope just yet, I decided to log on to the Toys R Us website this morning and order a few goodies to send over to her. I have to say that there is no hardship in that at all for me as I just LOVE looking in toy shops or on toy websites and could stay on them all day even though I am (of course) not thinking of making any purchases for myself but I just think that all the toys today are amazing and my children are so lucky that we are poor or they would be spoilt little brats! Anyway selection made; address filled in; credit card details given and then to write my birthday greeting which read something like this: Happy Birthday, lots of love from me, my hubby and your cousins xxx. I pressed enter and then a message popped up on my screen which read, 'Your current message cannot be processed due to inappropriate, derogatory o...

Since my children have been born I have attended the local mother and baby group, the mother and toddler group and even the local breastfeeding support group. I actually really enjoyed attending the breast feeding support group despite the slightly military, over the top approach that one or two of the mothers took; like insisting at the coffee shop that we all took out our boobs and fed our children whether they were hungry our not as if other people got embarrassed it was their problem and not ours. We'll show them, was the general consensus! Or feeding your children well up to and sometimes even beyond their toddler years when they were old enough to actually ask for it (not a good memory for any child to have in my opinion). However, most of the mothers were very much like me and often had no family around and had either no, or very few friends with children so saw these groups as a way of meeting other Mums in the same boat and introducing your child to other children. I made ...

I'm old! I am old ! All along I have been maintaining the delusion that while I am advancing in physical years, my mental age has remained at around the age of 26 (younger in some aspects of my life - like people falling over - always funny!) but lately I have been forced to admit that I'm wrong. The first clue I had was about a week ago when I saw some teenagers hiding behind my husbands car. I opened the door and asked them what they were doing. "Playing hide and go seek" they giggled. "Not here you're not" I chastised "You'll mark the car. Play somewhere else". And as they departed I heard them shout down the road to their friends "The auld wan here says we're not to play in her garden". I couldn't believe my ears. The auld wan? What the....!? First of all. It was only my husbands car I care about. I mean he is seriously devoted to that pile of metal, so much so that I think if you put together a list of the great love...

A friend called over today and as she was leaving she glanced at my wedding picture on my hall table and stopped to do a double take. "Oh my God", she said snatching it up, "Is that you?" and she looked at the picture and then at me and then back to the picture and then at me. "I can't believe it. You look amazing!! " "Thanks" I smiled. "No, I mean like, oh my God, you look gorgeous. I would not have recognised that it was you. I seriously would not think that you were the same person, you look so........"Pause........aaand there it is - all of a sudden she has realised what she has just said - She wouldn't recognise me looking so well as she is so used to seeing me looking so ordinary. Cringe ! For those of you who have only known me for the past four and a half years, I wasn't always a dog. Well actually, that is not strictly true. During my teenage years and well up until I discovered the GHD hair straighter ...

I have decided to write this particular blog knowing that I run the risk of being excommunicated from the human race by all those who have been celebrating with rapturous glee the last few days of sunshine but I can't help myself - it has to be done. The following are things that I hate about summer. 1. The flies. They are truly the most disgusting species living in this country at the moment and my house is full of them. I cannot open a window with out a swarm hovering outside it, rubbing their wings together and saying "Yes! She's opened the window lads. Lets go in and Sh*t all over her food". And my biggest gripe about them is actually with myself. You see, I cannot bring myself to kill or let any of them be killed despite my deep seeded hatred for each and every last one of them (I obviously have some over-developed 'thou shalt not kill issues' - too much time in a catholic school probably) so I spend every night with all the lights turned off in my kitche...

I am ill! I have just realised that I am suffering from an sickness and actually have been all my life but could never quite put my finger on what it was until now. I'm afraid that I have a class a, grade one version of sibling rivalry. My brother got engaged yesterday to his girlfriend of many years whom I am just crazy about. She is beautiful, funny and one of the nicest people that I have ever met (and no, in case you think you see where this is going, my feelings for her are strictly platonic). I rang my brother yesterday to sing my congratulations down the phone to him and found myself asking the usual questions; Where did it happen? How did you propose? Was she surprised? Did you pick the ring or did she? "What does the ring look like?" I asked. "It's a solitaire in a platinum band" he answered. "Oooo, just like mine" I squealed, "How many Carats?" and when he answered me I actually heard myself say "Oh really? Mine is point o...

The following list are things that my children love: The telly - No day is complete with out a few hours of electronics baby sitting my children. It provides a healthy balance. I get to feel human for a couple of hours and the kids get to learn from people who can sing, dance, tell stories and never get tired or impatient. It's win win! The computer - Again, it is electronics baby sitting my children but it taught Andrew to read and he's still only three and it has taught Charlotte all her letters so again, I feel that it only picks up the slack where I sadly am letting them down. The Cat - They both love Bertha the cat in different ways. Andrew treats the cat like she is suicidal and hugs her about twenty times a day saying things like "Oh Bertha, what's wrong? Why are you sad? Mummy, Bertha is sad. Come here Bertha, I'll give you a hug." I have asked him why he thinks Bertha is sad and he told me that it is because she never smiles (too cute!). However, Be...