The Magic Kiss - This one is for the Mammies!
The following list are things that my children love:
The telly - No day is complete with out a few hours of electronics baby sitting my children. It provides a healthy balance. I get to feel human for a couple of hours and the kids get to learn from people who can sing, dance, tell stories and never get tired or impatient. It's win win!
The computer - Again, it is electronics baby sitting my children but it taught Andrew to read and he's still only three and it has taught Charlotte all her letters so again, I feel that it only picks up the slack where I sadly am letting them down.
The Cat - They both love Bertha the cat in different ways. Andrew treats the cat like she is suicidal and hugs her about twenty times a day saying things like "Oh Bertha, what's wrong? Why are you sad? Mummy, Bertha is sad. Come here Bertha, I'll give you a hug." I have asked him why he thinks Bertha is sad and he told me that it is because she never smiles (too cute!).
However, Bertha's apparent depression could also be due to the fact that Charlotte loves Bertha too and every time she sees her, she squeals with delight at a pitch that only Bertha and the neighbours dogs can hear. She throws herself on top of Bertha (before Bertha can get away - Charlotte can move fast if she has to) and pins her to the ground hugging her with all the enthusiasm that she can muster, pulls out clumps of hair, touches her eyes and when the poor cat tries to escape, Charlotte pulls her back by the tail for more of some Charlotte style loving.
But there is no malice, it is all done out of pure love and adoration but it could provide an explanation as to why the cat never smiles.
Charlotte's little doll house people and animals - She is not a great talker is my Charlotte (doesn't get a chance to get a word in edgeways with the Mammy that she's got, poor love) unless she has her little doll house people and she could sit and play with them for hours. She does all their chatting and talking for them and even gives them all different 'voices' and makes them all kiss and hug each other. Another great love of hers is to share these same toys with the fish, and as the fish is continuously in danger of being crushed under the weight of her toys I have offered him to everyone I know in a bid to save his life. So far there have been no takers.
Andrew's Nintendo - I know it's electronics again but what can I do? He loves it and like the telly, computer and all the other curses of hell, I limit the time he can spend on it but he constantly amazes me at how good he is at it. I read recently that when small children start to amaze you with their computer skills then you know that you have reached old age and the next generation are now passing you out. Oh my god, I've just realised that I am turning into my father!
Normally I would say that I've turned into my mother but to be fair to her she has actually entered into the cyber world recently and is even currently on Facebook. She doesn't even bother to try and hide her true intentions though (her true intentions being to have a nose around at everyone) as her opening post read "I'm now on Facebook so I can see what you're all up to". Her next post read "I don't know if I'm welcome here but I don't care - I'm staying".
The Magic Kiss - This was actually the inspiration for this blog. Yesterday I took my children to a petting farm with a couple of friends and their children and a conversation with one of my friends over our picnic really got me thinking. She said that when her son falls over or gets hit by another child and comes to her crying she always tells him to stop that crying, that he's a big boy now and he has to learn to stand up for himself.
"Really?" I said, "God, I always cuddle my two and kiss them better if they come to me crying. I just couldn't not!" and she looked at me and said in an almost pitying tone,"It's not good for them Rachael".
I was so surprised. How can that not be good for them I thought and so I pressed her to elaborate?
"Children need to learn to stand on their own two feet from as early an age as possible. They need to toughen up as the world is a big scary place out there and trouble is always going to find them. You won't always be there for them. I expect my son to come home some days battered black and blue as he's a big strong boy and even though it will break my heart, I know that I have to prepare him for it now so that he can deal with it".
I didn't answer her as I would never actually criticise a parent and her parenting skills to her face (unlike my friend who had no problem criticising me but to be fair to her, I do believe that she thinks she was 'helping me'). However, I am not claiming to be a saint. I am not above sometimes saying things behind another parent's back which is probably worse but I find that there is less controversy my way. But now, thanks to my blog, I have finally found a way say whatever I want to and get it off my chest without actually having to deal with the fall out that might occur if they other person decided to argue with me. Ah - the years of wasted opinions that I have kept to myself (Yes - family members, I sometimes do keep my opinions to myself!! Not often I grant you, but still...).
I just thought that what she said was the one of the saddest things that I had ever heard. Are we all so terrified of our children getting bullied in the future that at the ages of just two and three years old, we have to teach them that they can't run to their Mammies for the magic kiss to make it all better. What if trouble does find them in the future like my friend believes that it will? Will they even come and tell me and let me help them or will they keep it all to themselves because I've have told them over and over again to stand up for themselves and not to come to me?
I totally agree that kids can 'milk the system' at it were and moan and cry and give out when they aren't really hurt at all and I would be the first to say "Stop that, you're fine" if that is the case but to never comfort them at this young age even when they are genuinely upset? It just doesn't seem right. however, my friend told me that lots of mothers in our circle agree with her and also employ that same rule of discipline (Oh my God - I've just realised that they all have had this conversation without me. Am I the Mammy that smothers their kids that everyone talks about? Major paranoia just starting to set in! Hmmmm, must invite current circle of Mammy friends to read my blog. Far too chicken for actual face to face confrontation).
I teach my children to stand up for themselves by telling them that if someone hits them or hurts them that they are to shout as loudly as they can "NO HITTING ME. THAT IS NAUGHTY" and Andrew, who has thankfully inherited his mothers vocal talents, is a genius at it. Charlotte, granted, is a timid little soul and runs away if confronted but she is two years old - she has years yet to find her voice.
Am I spoiling them? Myself and my husband have been accused of being over protective a number of times (too many times for it not to be true I'm afraid) but we just feel that they are only babies and have years and years ahead of them to 'Stand on their own two feet' as my friend put it but will they end up bullied and unable to defend themselves in the future as I was always there for them or will they (as I believe they will) end up more confident and less aggressive and secure in the knowledge that their parents are always on their side?
I spoke to my sister Treacy last night who also subscribes to my belief that a kiss and cuddle cures most things and told me to look up the magic kiss on the Internet last night and indeed, lots of scientific research does indicate that a kiss or a cuddle is the best pain medication that there is. I know myself when I have a crap day, my hubby giving me a hug can just make everything so much better in an instance.
So , I have decided that until my children tell me in their teenage years to "Get lost"; "Get a life"; "You're so sad" and "I hate you", I am going to smother them with as many kisses and cuddles as I can squeeze in and if I am indeed wrong and they never find it within themselves to stand on their own two feet because of it; well then - what the hell, I have to give them something to talk to their therapist about in the future!
My father once said to me years and years ago that the most important role that a parent has in a child's life is to always be there as someone they can blame for when they mess up. Ha ha - I never got it until now.
The telly - No day is complete with out a few hours of electronics baby sitting my children. It provides a healthy balance. I get to feel human for a couple of hours and the kids get to learn from people who can sing, dance, tell stories and never get tired or impatient. It's win win!
The computer - Again, it is electronics baby sitting my children but it taught Andrew to read and he's still only three and it has taught Charlotte all her letters so again, I feel that it only picks up the slack where I sadly am letting them down.
The Cat - They both love Bertha the cat in different ways. Andrew treats the cat like she is suicidal and hugs her about twenty times a day saying things like "Oh Bertha, what's wrong? Why are you sad? Mummy, Bertha is sad. Come here Bertha, I'll give you a hug." I have asked him why he thinks Bertha is sad and he told me that it is because she never smiles (too cute!).
However, Bertha's apparent depression could also be due to the fact that Charlotte loves Bertha too and every time she sees her, she squeals with delight at a pitch that only Bertha and the neighbours dogs can hear. She throws herself on top of Bertha (before Bertha can get away - Charlotte can move fast if she has to) and pins her to the ground hugging her with all the enthusiasm that she can muster, pulls out clumps of hair, touches her eyes and when the poor cat tries to escape, Charlotte pulls her back by the tail for more of some Charlotte style loving.
But there is no malice, it is all done out of pure love and adoration but it could provide an explanation as to why the cat never smiles.
Charlotte's little doll house people and animals - She is not a great talker is my Charlotte (doesn't get a chance to get a word in edgeways with the Mammy that she's got, poor love) unless she has her little doll house people and she could sit and play with them for hours. She does all their chatting and talking for them and even gives them all different 'voices' and makes them all kiss and hug each other. Another great love of hers is to share these same toys with the fish, and as the fish is continuously in danger of being crushed under the weight of her toys I have offered him to everyone I know in a bid to save his life. So far there have been no takers.
Andrew's Nintendo - I know it's electronics again but what can I do? He loves it and like the telly, computer and all the other curses of hell, I limit the time he can spend on it but he constantly amazes me at how good he is at it. I read recently that when small children start to amaze you with their computer skills then you know that you have reached old age and the next generation are now passing you out. Oh my god, I've just realised that I am turning into my father!
Normally I would say that I've turned into my mother but to be fair to her she has actually entered into the cyber world recently and is even currently on Facebook. She doesn't even bother to try and hide her true intentions though (her true intentions being to have a nose around at everyone) as her opening post read "I'm now on Facebook so I can see what you're all up to". Her next post read "I don't know if I'm welcome here but I don't care - I'm staying".
The Magic Kiss - This was actually the inspiration for this blog. Yesterday I took my children to a petting farm with a couple of friends and their children and a conversation with one of my friends over our picnic really got me thinking. She said that when her son falls over or gets hit by another child and comes to her crying she always tells him to stop that crying, that he's a big boy now and he has to learn to stand up for himself.
"Really?" I said, "God, I always cuddle my two and kiss them better if they come to me crying. I just couldn't not!" and she looked at me and said in an almost pitying tone,"It's not good for them Rachael".
I was so surprised. How can that not be good for them I thought and so I pressed her to elaborate?
"Children need to learn to stand on their own two feet from as early an age as possible. They need to toughen up as the world is a big scary place out there and trouble is always going to find them. You won't always be there for them. I expect my son to come home some days battered black and blue as he's a big strong boy and even though it will break my heart, I know that I have to prepare him for it now so that he can deal with it".
I didn't answer her as I would never actually criticise a parent and her parenting skills to her face (unlike my friend who had no problem criticising me but to be fair to her, I do believe that she thinks she was 'helping me'). However, I am not claiming to be a saint. I am not above sometimes saying things behind another parent's back which is probably worse but I find that there is less controversy my way. But now, thanks to my blog, I have finally found a way say whatever I want to and get it off my chest without actually having to deal with the fall out that might occur if they other person decided to argue with me. Ah - the years of wasted opinions that I have kept to myself (Yes - family members, I sometimes do keep my opinions to myself!! Not often I grant you, but still...).
I just thought that what she said was the one of the saddest things that I had ever heard. Are we all so terrified of our children getting bullied in the future that at the ages of just two and three years old, we have to teach them that they can't run to their Mammies for the magic kiss to make it all better. What if trouble does find them in the future like my friend believes that it will? Will they even come and tell me and let me help them or will they keep it all to themselves because I've have told them over and over again to stand up for themselves and not to come to me?
I totally agree that kids can 'milk the system' at it were and moan and cry and give out when they aren't really hurt at all and I would be the first to say "Stop that, you're fine" if that is the case but to never comfort them at this young age even when they are genuinely upset? It just doesn't seem right. however, my friend told me that lots of mothers in our circle agree with her and also employ that same rule of discipline (Oh my God - I've just realised that they all have had this conversation without me. Am I the Mammy that smothers their kids that everyone talks about? Major paranoia just starting to set in! Hmmmm, must invite current circle of Mammy friends to read my blog. Far too chicken for actual face to face confrontation).
I teach my children to stand up for themselves by telling them that if someone hits them or hurts them that they are to shout as loudly as they can "NO HITTING ME. THAT IS NAUGHTY" and Andrew, who has thankfully inherited his mothers vocal talents, is a genius at it. Charlotte, granted, is a timid little soul and runs away if confronted but she is two years old - she has years yet to find her voice.
Am I spoiling them? Myself and my husband have been accused of being over protective a number of times (too many times for it not to be true I'm afraid) but we just feel that they are only babies and have years and years ahead of them to 'Stand on their own two feet' as my friend put it but will they end up bullied and unable to defend themselves in the future as I was always there for them or will they (as I believe they will) end up more confident and less aggressive and secure in the knowledge that their parents are always on their side?
I spoke to my sister Treacy last night who also subscribes to my belief that a kiss and cuddle cures most things and told me to look up the magic kiss on the Internet last night and indeed, lots of scientific research does indicate that a kiss or a cuddle is the best pain medication that there is. I know myself when I have a crap day, my hubby giving me a hug can just make everything so much better in an instance.
So , I have decided that until my children tell me in their teenage years to "Get lost"; "Get a life"; "You're so sad" and "I hate you", I am going to smother them with as many kisses and cuddles as I can squeeze in and if I am indeed wrong and they never find it within themselves to stand on their own two feet because of it; well then - what the hell, I have to give them something to talk to their therapist about in the future!
My father once said to me years and years ago that the most important role that a parent has in a child's life is to always be there as someone they can blame for when they mess up. Ha ha - I never got it until now.
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