Sibling Rivalry
I am ill! I have just realised that I am suffering from an sickness and actually have been all my life but could never quite put my finger on what it was until now. I'm afraid that I have a class a, grade one version of sibling rivalry.
My brother got engaged yesterday to his girlfriend of many years whom I am just crazy about. She is beautiful, funny and one of the nicest people that I have ever met (and no, in case you think you see where this is going, my feelings for her are strictly platonic). I rang my brother yesterday to sing my congratulations down the phone to him and found myself asking the usual questions; Where did it happen? How did you propose? Was she surprised? Did you pick the ring or did she?
"What does the ring look like?" I asked. "It's a solitaire in a platinum band" he answered. "Oooo, just like mine" I squealed, "How many Carats?" and when he answered me I actually heard myself say "Oh really? Mine is point one of a carat more" and I stopped suddenly.
Oh My God! Did I just say that? Did I just say to my brother on the day of his engagement in not so many words "My ring is nicer than your ring". Yes, yes I did. Time for a quick flurry of goodbyes and to quickly replace the handset and then to ask myself, what the hell is wrong with me?
It's not just my brother. All my siblings seem to bring out the competitive steak in me which is so ironic as in every other aspect of my life I am distinctly unambitious and lazy and can never muster up the energy to be number one in anything. I have always been happy to just plod along in life as it were and I am quite happy with my life just the way it is. So I cannot understand this rivalry that I feel when confronted by my brother or sisters. It's like an itch. I just cannot resist trying to get one up on any of them - and some siblings more than others.
The other day my sister had a baby and when I asked the weight and was told 7 pounds 9 ounces I actually had to swallow back the words "Really? My first born was 7 pounds 15 ounces". Seriously, I am not joking! And behind those words just struggling to get out were the words "And my next baby was 8 pounds 8 ounces". And if those words had escaped then I think my next phrase would have been something like "Nah nah nah nah nah". I think that I almost choked trying to keep the words in as I kept saying "Congratulations, Oh my God, it's great. A boy - hurray! Congrats, congrats, congrats". KEEP THE REST OF YOUR WORDS IN, I could actually hear my inner self screaming. "mmmmmfffffff(Oh God, they're coming) must go, must go, smell of house burning down or something, congrats again- byeeeee". Oh my God, deep breath.
However, I am not the only one in our house that suffers from this condition. My younger sister Kate rang me to tell me the news about our gorgeous new nephew and after the screams and whoops of delight, was my first question," How is everyone, are they all okay?" - Of course not. it was "How do you know, did she ring you first?" And after I was assured that Kate had only heard it from our parents I calmed down and said "Okay, I'm ringing her first" And quickly Kate said "No - I am".
"I am" I Shouted "I'm dialling on my other phone"
"I'm dialling too"
"Stop - I am"
"No, I am - ha ha, it's ringing"
Crap - I was getting the engaged tone.
"Helloooooooo Caroline! Ha Ha - Goodbye Rachael...."
Aaaargh - How annoying!!!
In fact my sister Kate and I are one of the few remaining people who have stuck with the TV series Lost from the beginning until now and every Thursday evening we spend the entire episode texting each other saying things like "Can you guess what's coming next" (Like this is Lost. How can anyone guess what is coming next?) "Wrong! Better luck next week Loser".
The thing is - I actually don't even care about bettering any of my siblings at anything. No seriously. I mean, Do I care if I have a bigger ring? (does point one of a carat even count as bigger) Do I care if my baby was bigger? Do I care if I have a bigger house, bigger car (Which I don't) or bigger telly than any of them. The answer is NO! Not in the slightest. It's just that there are six children in my family and only two parents so when you do the maths you can see than fighting for position and attention in our house growing up was almost as normal as breathing and now it has just become a habit. It's like biting my nails or stooping over like an old woman when I'm tired. I know I'm doing it; I know it makes me looks bad; I derive no pleasure from it whatsoever -I just can't seem to stop myself from doing it.
Time to put an end to it me thinks. So come on siblings, what do you say? Let's stop all of this competitiveness and just bask in each others achievements. I know that I can do it if I try.
In fact to be honest, I'd say that I'd probably be better at it than any of you...
My brother got engaged yesterday to his girlfriend of many years whom I am just crazy about. She is beautiful, funny and one of the nicest people that I have ever met (and no, in case you think you see where this is going, my feelings for her are strictly platonic). I rang my brother yesterday to sing my congratulations down the phone to him and found myself asking the usual questions; Where did it happen? How did you propose? Was she surprised? Did you pick the ring or did she?
"What does the ring look like?" I asked. "It's a solitaire in a platinum band" he answered. "Oooo, just like mine" I squealed, "How many Carats?" and when he answered me I actually heard myself say "Oh really? Mine is point one of a carat more" and I stopped suddenly.
Oh My God! Did I just say that? Did I just say to my brother on the day of his engagement in not so many words "My ring is nicer than your ring". Yes, yes I did. Time for a quick flurry of goodbyes and to quickly replace the handset and then to ask myself, what the hell is wrong with me?
It's not just my brother. All my siblings seem to bring out the competitive steak in me which is so ironic as in every other aspect of my life I am distinctly unambitious and lazy and can never muster up the energy to be number one in anything. I have always been happy to just plod along in life as it were and I am quite happy with my life just the way it is. So I cannot understand this rivalry that I feel when confronted by my brother or sisters. It's like an itch. I just cannot resist trying to get one up on any of them - and some siblings more than others.
The other day my sister had a baby and when I asked the weight and was told 7 pounds 9 ounces I actually had to swallow back the words "Really? My first born was 7 pounds 15 ounces". Seriously, I am not joking! And behind those words just struggling to get out were the words "And my next baby was 8 pounds 8 ounces". And if those words had escaped then I think my next phrase would have been something like "Nah nah nah nah nah". I think that I almost choked trying to keep the words in as I kept saying "Congratulations, Oh my God, it's great. A boy - hurray! Congrats, congrats, congrats". KEEP THE REST OF YOUR WORDS IN, I could actually hear my inner self screaming. "mmmmmfffffff(Oh God, they're coming) must go, must go, smell of house burning down or something, congrats again- byeeeee". Oh my God, deep breath.
However, I am not the only one in our house that suffers from this condition. My younger sister Kate rang me to tell me the news about our gorgeous new nephew and after the screams and whoops of delight, was my first question," How is everyone, are they all okay?" - Of course not. it was "How do you know, did she ring you first?" And after I was assured that Kate had only heard it from our parents I calmed down and said "Okay, I'm ringing her first" And quickly Kate said "No - I am".
"I am" I Shouted "I'm dialling on my other phone"
"I'm dialling too"
"Stop - I am"
"No, I am - ha ha, it's ringing"
Crap - I was getting the engaged tone.
"Helloooooooo Caroline! Ha Ha - Goodbye Rachael...."
Aaaargh - How annoying!!!
In fact my sister Kate and I are one of the few remaining people who have stuck with the TV series Lost from the beginning until now and every Thursday evening we spend the entire episode texting each other saying things like "Can you guess what's coming next" (Like this is Lost. How can anyone guess what is coming next?) "Wrong! Better luck next week Loser".
The thing is - I actually don't even care about bettering any of my siblings at anything. No seriously. I mean, Do I care if I have a bigger ring? (does point one of a carat even count as bigger) Do I care if my baby was bigger? Do I care if I have a bigger house, bigger car (Which I don't) or bigger telly than any of them. The answer is NO! Not in the slightest. It's just that there are six children in my family and only two parents so when you do the maths you can see than fighting for position and attention in our house growing up was almost as normal as breathing and now it has just become a habit. It's like biting my nails or stooping over like an old woman when I'm tired. I know I'm doing it; I know it makes me looks bad; I derive no pleasure from it whatsoever -I just can't seem to stop myself from doing it.
Time to put an end to it me thinks. So come on siblings, what do you say? Let's stop all of this competitiveness and just bask in each others achievements. I know that I can do it if I try.
In fact to be honest, I'd say that I'd probably be better at it than any of you...
Has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read....except for my stuff, of course... ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks Susan - I'm loving your blog I have to say. It's great inspiration.
ReplyDeleteI was talking to two of my sisters who are mentioned in this blog and they were very amused saying that of course the real tragedy of it all is that it's all completely true and we're all as bad as each other. I always thought that my two kids will grow out of it but I see now that I'm living proof that we never do.